He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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