need another drink. this is the easiest way
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
