Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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