I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
