I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
