nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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