are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
