Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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