I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
