She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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