He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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