He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
