Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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