she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
