is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
