belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize