I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pants are for mortals
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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