The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
