I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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