So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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