I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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