idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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