just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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