More tranny stories later!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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