I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
