I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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