Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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