PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
