im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
