So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
