My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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