Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
