my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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