he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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