I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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