Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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  (484): I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control http://tfl.nu/pmnn
  Replies (19) Good night (649) Bad night (2366)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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  (919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym
  Replies (16) Good night (3047) Bad night (737)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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  (814): He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying http://tfl.nu/diyu
  Replies (28) Good night (12145) Bad night (641)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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  (214): Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry. http://tfl.nu/h3dm
  Replies (20) Good night (2509) Bad night (986)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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  (732): just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest http://tfl.nu/tjgh
  Replies (13) Good night (4227) Bad night (876)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4240) Bad night (1018)
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  (415): View more from California

  I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.

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  (415): I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food. http://tfl.nu/ruld
  Replies (6) Good night (2167) Bad night (908)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.

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  (248): No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again. http://tfl.nu/jvet
  Replies (7) Good night (1072) Bad night (478)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That boy needs some memories to take back home with him

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  (336): That boy needs some memories to take back home with him http://tfl.nu/bmt8
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (360)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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  (803): i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo http://tfl.nu/7ggy
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (851)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (293)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.

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  (613): That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover. http://tfl.nu/as9t
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (216)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink

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  (570): I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink http://tfl.nu/cef5
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (194)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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  (206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you. http://tfl.nu/9dg7
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (232)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon

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  (480): The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon http://tfl.nu/h5eu
  Replies (0) Good night (150) Bad night (392)

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