Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Randomize
