What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus