Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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  (757): apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously http://tfl.nu/dgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (837) Bad night (4957)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6096) Bad night (910)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

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  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (7062) Bad night (1172)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

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  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8726) Bad night (739)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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  (443): He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him http://tfl.nu/8x14
  Replies (19) Good night (1342) Bad night (4010)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster

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  (630): nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster http://tfl.nu/9e73
  Replies (6) Good night (754) Bad night (3021)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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  (412): just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi http://tfl.nu/nlgm
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (2121)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2417) Bad night (737)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (1012)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."

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  (901): I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower." http://tfl.nu/7vf5
  Replies (4) Good night (1753) Bad night (495)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (868) Bad night (596)
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  (760): View more from California

  Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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  (760): Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver http://tfl.nu/ovu0
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (643)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.

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  (503): Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson. http://tfl.nu/op2p
  Replies (4) Good night (285) Bad night (441)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.

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  (570): The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better. http://tfl.nu/cik5
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (221)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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  (765): I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it. http://tfl.nu/bmis
  Replies (4) Good night (502) Bad night (229)

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