Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America