so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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