Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
