i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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