Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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