I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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