You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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