There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
