I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
