Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im six kinds of drunk right now
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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