Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
