i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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