16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
