So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
