He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do herpes really smell.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
