Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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