He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
