saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's official drugs can't kill me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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