I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
