I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Success! We fucked roommates!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
